Avenger (Outsider Series) Read online

  “Yeah, well, sacrifices must be made. And as much as I’d like to go out and do things, I know staying home and limiting my activity is best for the baby.”

  Caeden leaned over and placed a light kiss on my lips. “I’ll shower and head out. I won’t be gone long. I don’t like being away from my princesses.”

  “The baby could be a boy,” I replied, just like I did almost every time he referred to the baby as a girl.

  “Fifty fifty, baby, and I’m betting on a girl.”

  “Oh, so this is a bet now is it?” I laughed.

  He stood and stretched his arms above his head. “Sure. If it’s a girl I…never mind, I only see this blowing up in my face,” he grinned crookedly.

  “Afraid I’d win the bet?” I asked, raising a brow.

  “Maybe,” he smiled as he backed towards the bathroom door.

  I shook my head and slowly eased from the bed. I felt like I did everything in slow motion nowadays. I didn’t like it. And like Gram had warned, I’d lost my ability to shift…well, let’s put it this way—I hadn’t tried to shift, because my wolf side was silent. I knew it was gone and I was so weak anyway that I didn’t see the point of testing it.

  I slipped my feet into a pair of slippers and grabbed a light gray sweater to wrap around me. I was freezing all the time now—strange since I was a shifter and we tended to have a higher than normal temperature.

  I slowly made my way down the steps, gripping the railing tightly in my hands for fear I’d get dizzy and slip.

  I shuffled my feet along the floors and stepped into the kitchen. I was surprised to find it empty. Nolan seemed to spend most of his time in there eating everything he could get his hands on.

  I decided to take the time to make Caeden and myself an egg sandwich. Lately, unless Caeden made my meal, I’d been living off of cereal or anything that was easy to make. I didn’t like feeling so weak and tired all the time. Laying in the bed all the time was so not as fun as it sounded.

  When the sandwiches were done I carried the plates over to the table and went back for two glasses of orange juice.

  By the time I sat down and took the first bite of my sandwich, Caeden walked in, rubbing his damp curls.

  “You made me breakfast,” he smiled when he saw the plate.

  I shrugged. “You’ve been doing so much for me, the least I could do is make you a sandwich.”

  He bent down and kissed my cheek before sitting across from me. “This is really good,” he commented. “But you certainly didn’t have to do this.”

  I laughed. “I’m certainly not as good of a cook as your mom.”

  He shrugged. “My mom has had to cook all the time, raising two hungry shifter boys and all their friends, so practice makes perfect.”

  I bit my lip, absorbing his words. In seven months, we’d have our own child, and it was only a matter of time before the others started popping out kids. Somehow, over night, we’d become adults. It still hadn’t quite hit me that my childhood was gone. After all, I was only eighteen and that was young. But Caeden and I had the weight of the world on our shoulders—or so it seemed—and that made us seem so much older.

  We finished eating and Caeden took our plates to rinse off and put in the dishwasher. Moments like this made it so easy to forget all the bad going on in our lives. In these brief times, we were just Caeden and Sophie—husband and wife—going about our daily activities and being normal. I craved normalcy something fierce. But the moment I found out I was a shifter, any chance at a normal life went out the window, and honestly when it came down to it, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Caeden, the whole pack, the shifting, all of it was amazing and it was worth the bad times. After all, once Travis was gone once and for all our lives could be—not normal—but peaceful.

  “What are you smiling about?” Caeden asked.

  “I didn’t realize I was.”

  “Well, you are,” he chuckled, still waiting for an answer.

  I thought for a moment before answering. “I guess…I’m just happy. Despite everything we’ve been through and everything we have yet to face, I am happy, and that’s what matters.”

  He braced his hands on the counter and tilted his head, a slow smile lighting his face. “You’re happy…it’s good to hear that…” He paused, as if unsure if he should continue. “I’ve never doubted you loved me, Soph, but I have questioned your happiness. You’ve been through a lot, and all of it has been because of me. So many things could have been avoided if we weren’t mates.”

  “Don’t think for one second that I regret my fate.” I stood and made my way to him. He opened his arms and I wrapped mine around him. I inhaled his woodsy scent, letting his warmth wash over me. “You and me, we’re meant to be, and those hardships we’ve faced, they’re merely bumps in the road. Together, we’re unstoppable.”

  His lips brushed over my hair. “Unstoppable,” he whispered.

  We stood like that for several more minutes until he finally let me go.

  “Well,” he put his hands on his hips, “I guess I better see if I can find pumpkins since someone waited till the last minute to have the brilliant idea of carving them.”

  I laughed, my eyes darting down to the floor as I lifted my shoulders in a small shrug. “It didn’t occur to me before.”

  “I’ll be back soon,” he stepped forward and took my chin between his fingers, placing a chaste kiss on my lips.

  As he started out of the kitchen, I called after him, “Don’t forget to get one for Nolan.”

  He chuckled in reply. “You got it.”

  Since I didn’t feel like going back upstairs and lying in bed for hours, I decided to spend some time in the family room. I’d still be off my feet and bored out of my mind, but at least I’d have something different to look at.

  I had just sat down and draped a blanket around my shoulders when Archie and Murphy joined me. Each dog took a spot beside me. They rarely left my side these days, even Murphy. I scratched the top of Archie’s head and he leaned into my touch. I did the same for Archie before putting a movie on. There was never anything good to watch on TV. It was all either reruns or crazy people fighting over some random piece of crap. If I had to watch ladies fight over a something ridiculous one more time…

  “Watcha doin’?” I looked up to see Nolan standing in the doorway. I swear he appeared out of nowhere all the time. It was like his super power or something.

  “Watching a movie.” I gave him a “duh” look. I mean, really, wasn’t it obvious what I was doing? Why did I need to spell it out?

  “Mind if I join you?”

  “Uh…”

  He must have taken that as a yes, because he said, “I’m going to pop some popcorn and be right back. Don’t start it yet.”

  “You don’t even know what I’m watching,” I mumbled under my breath. I was suddenly mad that I’d picked Lord of the Rings to watch and not some flowery girl movie that would’ve been sure to scare Nolan away. But it was too late now to change it, because he’d hear me get up and know what I was doing. And while I was wary of Nolan, he wasn’t a bad guy…at least as far as I knew.

  He came in with a big bowl of popcorn and sat down so Archie was between us. “You can start it now,” he mumbled as he shoved a handful of butter drenched popcorn in his mouth. “Want some?” He held the giant bowl out to me. He must have popped three bags of popcorn because I knew there was no way one bag produced that much.

  “Uh, sure,” I reached out and grabbed a handful.

  It felt weird to be sitting here eating popcorn and watching Lord of the Rings with Nolan of all people. I didn’t know him…and I guess that was my fault. I talked to him, sure, but not very much. And I’d been fine with him before Caeden said he thought there was a mole. But now, I wasn’t sure if he was trustworthy. I was being unfair to him. I knew that. If there was a mole, which we didn’t really know, it could be anyone. Besides, Caeden seemed convinced that the mole was a member of the elders.

  I
decided to relax and enjoy the movie despite Nolan’s presence. Until the guy gave me a reason not to trust him, I should be more accommodating, and he’d always been nice to me.

  We were halfway through the second movie when Caeden finally arrived home.

  “Cay-berry! Does it really take that long to get pumpkins?” Nolan called out, throwing his arms in the air enthusiastically. I was about to ask Nolan how he knew about the pumpkins when I realized he’s a shifter so of course he heard. With the loss of my abilities, I had forgotten that everyone else still had theirs.

  “It does when every place I stopped had already packed up their pumpkins, since it’s Halloween and all.” Caeden appeared in the doorway.

  “Did you not get any?” I frowned, noting his empty hands.

  “Oh, I did. I got big ones…and I did manage to find a small one for the baby. They’re in the kitchen.”

  I clapped my hands together. “Let’s gut some pumpkins.”

  “Dude, you married a weird one,” Nolan chuckled as he shook his head, his sandy hair falling in his eyes.

  “I know, but I love her,” Caeden winked at me.

  “Weird one is sitting right here,” I pointed at myself.

  Caeden chuckled and his gaze flicked to the paused TV screen. “You guys are watching Lord of the Rings?”

  “Yeah,” I shrugged. “I was in the mood for something different.”

  Caeden shook his head. “Are we going to carve pumpkins or not?”

  I hopped up—well, I got up as fast as I could which really wasn’t all that fast. “A pumpkin carving we go,” I saluted my husband as I passed him.

  Since I was so weak, Caeden had to help me ‘gut’ my pumpkin, but once the top was off and the gunk was cleared out I started carving my design. I was no artist so I stuck with the simple design of a basic flower. I was happy with it until I saw Nolan’s.

  “Whoa,” I gasped.

  “You like it?” He asked with a grin.

  I nodded. He’d carved the face of a tiger into the pumpkin and no detail had gone unnoticed. It was amazing and I couldn’t wait to see it lit up. “It’s incredible,” I told him.

  “Geez,” Caeden glanced over, taking in Nolan’s design, “and here I thought my wolf was going to impress you.”

  I snorted at Caeden’s pathetic attempt to carve a wolf. It looked more like a mammoth or something. There was nothing about it that was remotely wolf like.

  “That’s…interesting,” I said so as not to hurt his feelings.

  He dropped the knife and it clanged on the countertop. “That’s code for ‘it sucks,’” he shook his head.

  “It doesn’t suck it just—”

  “Sucks,” Nolan finished for me and I sent him a glare.

  “No, it doesn’t,” I continued to glare at him. “It’s whimsical.”

  “You don’t need to make me feel better, Soph. I’m a big boy. I can handle the truth,” Caeden sighed, frowning at his pumpkin. “I never was much good at carving pumpkins. I once threw one at Bryce’s head.”

  I giggled. “And what happened?”

  “It bounced off because his head is full of air,” he laughed, “and then my mom grounded me for two months.”

  Nolan and I burst into laughter.

  “I remember that!” Nolan chortled. “I came over the next day and your mom was so pissed she wouldn’t even let me in the house to give you your games back. She told me to keep them, because you were never allowed to do anything fun ever again.”

  “She was mad for a few days,” Caeden continued to chuckle. “I don’t know why though. It didn’t hurt him. I’m not sure anything can hurt Bryce. He’s indestructible or something.”

  “Maybe all those bad jokes he tells acts as a shield,” I wiped tears from my eyes. I hadn’t laughed like this in a very long time and it felt so, so good.

  “They probably do,” Caeden agreed, “they’re pretty awful. Do you know what Lucinda told me?”

  I shook my head.

  “She caught Bryce taking a cupcake order and when he answered the phone, he said, “This is Bryce, thanks for calling Beaumont Sperm bank, you jack it we pack it.’”

  “He. Didn’t.” I gasped.

  “Oh, he did. She fired him for it.”

  “When did this happen?” I questioned. I felt so out of the loop on everything.

  Caeden’s brow furrowed as he thought. “About a week ago.”

  I sighed. “I miss everything,” I grumbled.

  “Aw, Soph,” Caeden reached over and rubbed my back, “that’s not true.”

  “But it is,” I groaned. “You’re free to do whatever you want, go wherever you want, and see whoever you want. While I’m stuck here being an incubator.” I realized the harshness of my words and glanced down at my tiny bump. “Sorry, baby, mommy didn’t mean that.”

  “I know it sucks for you,” Caeden reached for my hand, “but it’s what’s best for you and the baby right now.”

  “I know,” I sighed. “But when we find out if it’s a boy or a girl you can’t stop me from shopping for baby clothes. It’s happening.”

  He chuckled. “I’m sure we can arrange that.”

  Nolan fake gagged. Caeden and I turned to look at him. “When the mushiness starts that’s my cue to leave.”

  “What was mushy about that?” Caeden asked.

  “You’re talking about a baby, before I know it you’ll both be talking in high pitched baby voices. Give me one of those so I can light this damn jack o’ lantern,” Nolan pointed at the bag of tea lights.

  Caeden tossed him the bag and he grabbed the pumpkin, heading for the front door.

  “I guess we better finish this one,” I pointed at the small pumpkin meant for the baby.

  “You better do it,” he spun his pumpkin around. “I’ll just butcher it.”

  “Whatever, Negative Nancy.” I reached for the knife and set about carving an antique baby rattle. It seemed simple enough, but it ended up looking like a weird balloon with a handle. “Eh, good enough,” I shrugged. “We can’t all be artists like Nolan. After all, it’s the effort and thought that counts.”

  Caeden grabbed our pumpkins and I carried the baby one out to the front porch. Nolan was still outside, admiring his pumpkin. Weirdo.

  Caeden lit the little candles in the jack o’ lanterns and we stood back to admire our handy work—or in this case not so handy work.

  Nolan snorted at our pathetic attempt at a jack o’ lantern. “Be thankful you don’t have to be an artist to be Alpha,” Nolan clapped Caeden on the shoulder as he shook his head.

  Caeden shrugged off Nolan’s hand. “Luckily I’m very skilled at more useful things.”

  Nolan chuckled, glancing from Caeden to me. “Oh, I’m sure you are, Cay-berry. I’m sure you are.”

  With that he sauntered forward and into the house.

  Caeden shook his head at Nolan’s words. With a sigh he reached for my hand and pulled me against his side. I let his warmth envelope me and tried to enjoy this moment of peace, they were few and far between.

  Eight.

  Caeden

  I knew Sophie needed to feel normal, even if that meant carving the ugliest pumpkins on the planet. I knew the pregnancy was hard on her and she hated feeling useless, but I’d never forgive myself if I let her over exert herself and it ended up hurting her or the baby.

  I let her enjoy the fresh air for a few minutes before coaxing her inside.

  I honestly couldn’t believe that it was already Halloween. Time was passing by way faster than I wanted it to. I felt so unprepared—not only with Travis and his mutants but with the baby as well. My dad had been a great role model, but that didn’t prepare me for the profoundness of having a kid. I was going to have a little human-being dependent on me to keep her alive. How crazy was that? Especially when I couldn’t seem to keep my pack alive. I rubbed my jaw, and turned to Sophie, hoping I could get my mind on other things.

  “How about we finish that movie?”
/>   “But…you weren’t watching it. You’ll be confused,” her nose crinkled with the cold air.

  I laughed heartily at that. “Babe, I’ve seen that movie so many times I have it memorized.”

  That got her to smile. God, I loved that smile, and these days seeing it was a rarity.

  “I’d like that.” She wrapped her arms around her torso as she shivered from the cool night air.

  I held the door open for her and followed her into the family room.

  My eyes scanned her body—but not for the reason you’d think. She looked…thinner. But how was that possible? Weren’t you supposed to gain weight when you’re pregnant?

  I shook my head, sure I was just imagining things. Surely she wasn’t losing weight. I mean, she had a baby bump and she was eating regularly. Now, I was just inventing stuff to worry about.

  Sophie grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself before plopping dramatically onto the couch. “You coming?” She asked when she looked up and saw me standing in the archway.

  I nodded and strode forward. I sat down beside her and pulled her into my arms. She came eagerly. I loved being close to her like this. I really missed these moments. We rarely had them anymore. Everything was always so serious now.

  “You starting the movie back up?” Nolan asked a moment before he appeared.

  I nodded.

  “Sweet,” he jumped onto the couch and bounced a few times. He grabbed a pillow and adjusted it behind his head.

  I knew there were a million other things I should have been doing, especially since I’d lost so much time hunting down and carving pumpkins, but right now I needed this. I kissed the top of Sophie’s head and wiggled around until I found a comfortable spot. I needed times like these to remind me what I was fighting so hard for.

  * * *

  The movie ended and Sophie had fallen asleep. Her head was propped on my arm and drool had leaked from the corner of her mouth onto my shirt. At least she was cute, so I couldn’t be pissed.

  I stood, careful to keep a hand on her so she didn’t fall over. I carefully wrapped my arms around her and pulled her against my chest. “Night,” I nodded at Nolan as I headed out of the room carrying my sleeping wife. I laid her down in bed and removed her jeans. I knew from experience that sleeping in jeans wasn’t fun. I brought the blankets up around her and gazed down at her sleeping form.