Whatever Happens Page 18
“Come on, Vi. Let me see.”
I slide the curtain back and my mom gasps, her hands flying to cover her mouth.
“You’re gorgeous, Vi.”
“Wow.” Lydia’s jaw drops as she too exits her dressing room in a beautiful white gown with flowers.
I turn to the mirror in the middle of the changing area and it’s even more perfect than I originally thought. It looks like a one of a kind piece.
“You … you look like a woman,” my mom chokes up.
“I feel like one,” I murmur.
The person who stares back at me is grown up and glowing. While her eyes are a tad bit sad, there’s something else there, a resilience.
No matter what life throws at me, only I have the power to let it knock me down.
Lydia steps up beside me, resting her head on my shoulder. “We look hot.”
I laugh. It’s genuine, taking over my whole face, my whole being.
“Want to break some hearts with me?” Her eyes sparkle with laughter.
I nod. “Let’s do this thing.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Despite my initial reluctance to go to prom, I end up going all out—well, my mom does. She insists I get my hair, makeup, and nails professionally done. It seems like a waste to me personally, but she wants to do it so here we are.
After hours of feeling like my entire body has been buffed and polished it’s time for me to put my dress on. My hair cascades down my shoulder in a loose braid, and when I described my dress to the hair stylist she added shimmery golden thread into it that reflects every time I move. Even my makeup looks like the starry night and my nails are painted a deep blue with a gold glitter polish over top. I slip the dress and heels on and look in the mirror.
The breath is sucked out of my lungs and I can’t believe the woman standing in front of me is me.
I look like a character from a Shakespearean play or a goddess, maybe Nyx herself.
Even though I didn’t want to go, I’m suddenly grateful I am. This isn’t a moment I should miss out on.
I grab my matching clutch and stick my phone and some cash inside before I carefully take the stairs down. I haven’t worn heels in a long time and I’m out of practice.
My parents meet me in the foyer and my mom promptly bursts into tears.
“Please, don’t cry,” I beg. “Then I’ll cry and I can’t ruin my makeup.”
“You’re right, you’re right,” she chants, grabbing a tissue off a side table and dotting her eyes.
“You look beautiful, Vi.” My dad clears his throat, looking visibly upset.
“So grown up,” my mom adds, clutching her chest and holding back more tears.
The doorbell rings and my mom exclaims, “Oh, that must be Lydia!”
She rushes to open the door and Lydia stands on the front porch with her parents.
After a million pictures of the two of us as well as separate ones, we’re sent on our way in Lydia’s car.
“We’re free!” She cries, turning the volume up on her playlist.
“This year has gone by so fast.” I look out the window at the passing scenery as she drives to the hotel downtown hosting the prom. “Graduation isn’t far away.”
“Yeah, it has.” She sounds a little sad. “It’s like life decided to speed up.”
“That’s a good way to put it,” I agree.
Trying to move on with my life after the pain of losing Luna last year has been tough. Dr. Lee has helped show me I don’t need to mask the pain, but embrace it instead, because the loss of my sister isn’t something I’m going to forget. Some days will be easier, others harder, but I have to focus on the positive.
And I remind myself that I have to live my life because she didn’t get to live hers.
Lydia pulls up to the hotel and they take her car. Heading inside we pass on our tickets, before entering the room.
Both of us pause, in awe of the space in front of us. The theme this year is Paris, and while it sounds cliché to me, this is anything but. There’s a mini Eiffel Tower made from what looks like metal, with small lights attached that twinkle. From the ceiling different stars hang, somehow seeming to glow. Tables are dotted around the room with shimmery black fabric and the refreshment stand is against the back wall. Most people seem to be gathered there.
A fast-paced song comes on and Lydia grabs my hand and swings in front of me to tug me forward. “We have to dance!” She pulls me with her, not giving me a chance to protest, and I let myself just go with it.
Live in the moment, I remind myself. We’re not guaranteed tomorrows, and whatever happens, I want to make the most of it.
One song bleeds into another and after a while I don’t know how many we’ve danced to, but my skin is damp with perspiration and I’m dying of thirst.
“Let’s get a drink,” I plead.
She looks like she wants to protest, but eventually nods.
I grab two mini water bottles from the table and pass her one. I gulp the whole thing down in seconds and grab another one.
“This is pretty fun.” She looks around the room at everyone dancing or occupying a table.
“Come on,” this time I grab her hand, “let’s dance some more.”
“Oh. My. God.” Her gaze holds steady on the entrance to the room.
“What? What is it?” I follow her gaze. “Oh, my God,” I blurt, jaw dropping in surprise.
I watch Finn stand awkwardly in front of the large double doors, his hands shoved into the pockets of his tuxedo pants. His eyes dart around the room behind his glasses, searching for something. His hair is a little shorter, no longer brushing the top of his glasses, and I bet he got it cut today.
“Go.” Lydia bumps me with her shoulder.
“Why?”
She rolls her eyes at me. “He’s here for you. There’s no other reason Finn would brave this, and without Jack at that.”
I hadn’t even realized Jack wasn’t with him.
“H-He’s not here for me,” I argue. It doesn’t seem plausible. There has to be some other reason, an explanation. When I spoke to him about homecoming at the beginning of the school year he was adamantly against it, so coming to prom? It can’t be because of me, that would make no sense.
His wandering gaze stops when he spots me.
My breath stops completely as he moves through the crowd. He’s careful not to touch anyone and I continue to stand where I am, completely frozen.
“Go.” Lydia gives me a small shove. “Stop being dumb and get your man.”
I shake my head, but somehow I’m spurred forward.
I keep my eye on Finn’s dark bobbing head and we meet in the middle of the dance floor. No one pays us any mind.
“What are you doing here?”
He looks at me steadily, but I notice his shoulders are a little shaky with nerves.
“I saw you leave.”
“And you just happened to have a tux?” I accuse.
He wets his lips. “My mom got me one. Just in case I decided to go. So here I am.”
“But, why?”
“For you.” He taps his fingers against the side of his leg.
My brows furrow. “You’re the one that walked away from me, Finn.”
“I know.” He clears his throat, looking at his shoes. “I … I thought it was for the best.”
“For the best? That makes no sense.”
He bites his lip. “That night, having that woman berate me, make me feel less than human while you stood there defending me … I saw … I saw a flash of what our future could look like and I didn’t want that for you. You shouldn’t have to defend me. You deserve someone normal, who you can love without sacrifice.”
Tears sting my eyes as I stare at him, at the boy who stole my heart and never gave it back. “Loving you would never be a sacrifice.”
“I thought you belonged with someone better, someone more than I can ever be.”
“But … you’re everything, Finn.”
He reaches out like he wants to touch me but his hand falls back to his side.
“I thought I was giving you a choice by walking away from you—a chance at a normal life. Things will never be easy with someone like me.”
I shake my head back and forth. “You think you’re so different, but you’re not. Everyone has quirks, nobody is normal or perfect—but you’re the closest thing to it for me. And Finn?” He lifts his head and pushes his glasses up his nose. “I never had a choice when it comes to loving you, I just do. That’s how love works. You don’t choose, you just know.”
“And you love me?” Despite him being here, in spite of everything, he still doesn’t see how deeply I feel for him. It’s like he can’t grasp it. Maybe it’s because love isn’t something you can see. The only proof it exists is in the feeling.
“I do.” I nod my head up and down, fighting back tears.
“I love you, too, Nebula.”
I remember how he once told me he wasn’t sure he knew how to love, if he was even capable of the feeling, but he says it wholeheartedly and I know it’s true. I see the love shining in his eyes.
This time he does reach out and he takes my hand. “I’m not sure I’ll ever believe I deserve you, but I’m going to try to be worthy.”
“You already are.”
I move in and kiss him. His other hand cups my cheek, angling my head back as he deepens the kiss. His kiss feels like an apology, but also like a door opening, to another chapter, a new us.
I’ve always told myself, that whatever happens everything will be all right.
That feels truer now than before. So much has been dealt my way, but I’m dealing with it. I’m growing as a person, learning about myself, letting go of pain.
He breaks the kiss, but keeps a hold on my cheek, resting his forehead against mine.
“Why now? It’s been months. We’ve barely spoken, you rarely look my way, it—”
“Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Because the hurt never went away. Because despite everything, I want to be the right guy for you. And when I looked at you, I could see the hurt in your eyes, and I knew you must feel this too. I’m not used to this feeling.” He brings his other hand over his heart. “Love is an unusual concept to me. I never thought I would experience this kind of love, but you’ve proved me wrong, and I’m an idiot to throw that away because of fear. No one else’s selfish behavior should have any bearing on my decisions, on my life.”
“I thought I did something horrible to you.” I feel the tears coming again, damn them.
“No.” He shakes his head. “You did something magical for me. You saw me when no one else did.”
“Finn,” I breathe, his name the only word my brain can conjure.
He rubs his thumb against my cheek. “You made me feel like I belonged when I spent my whole life feeling like an outsider.” He wipes a tear off my cheek. “I wasn’t looking for you, I didn’t ask for you, but you found me anyway. Thank you.” He lowers his lips to my ear and I close my eyes. “You saved me, Nebula. You gave me a reason to keep my feet on Earth. I don’t have to search the stars for meaning anymore. Not when I have you.”
I crash my lips to his, silencing him. My arms wrap around his shoulders, and behind my closed lids the lights flash and twinkle, bright spots in the darkness.
Stars.
Finn might’ve found a reason to stay planted on Earth, but I found my bright spot in the night sky.
I found him.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
End of Summer
Time seems to have sped up and there’s no slowing it.
In the blink of an eye prom turns into graduation, graduation turns into summer, and summer … well, it always has to come to an end, right?
My suitcases are packed, and tomorrow my parents drive me to NYU. Lydia is heading there too, studying fashion design, so at least I’ll know someone. I’m excited for the opportunities there, to grow and learn. Finn will be heading south to the Georgia Institute of Technology. It’s not a surprise to me at all that he’ll be pursuing aerospace engineering.
This new chapter of my life is thrilling, but also terrifying. It’s my first step into the real world.
It’s crazy to think about the fact this time a year ago we were just moving in. So much has happened in that time, but one thing is for certain, I’m in a much better place.
I’ve continued to see Dr. Lee, and funny enough, I’ll miss her while I’m in New York.
Will stirs in his cage, he’ll be staying here with my parents since ferrets in dorms aren’t exactly allowed. I turn my head and look at the clock on my nightstand.
Three in the morning.
I can’t sleep, but not because I’m worried or dwelling on things I shouldn’t.
I sit up and pad over to the window, a grin splitting my face when I see my boyfriend, the guy I love, looking up at my window.
He nods his head toward the meadow and I signal back.
Sliding my feet into a pair of slippers I sneak outside. He’s waiting for me and reaches for my hand. “For old times sake?”
I slip my hand in his in reply.
I giggle as we run through the tall grass and sink into it, lying on our backs. It’s a clear night, no clouds in sight, with a new moon.
That feels significant somehow, like it’s reflecting this new beginning in our lives.
Finn and I have fought so hard to get to this moment. Our childish doubts and insecurities nearly got in our way of a pretty epic love. It’s an untraditional love, but it’s ours. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
His hand is warm and tight around mine. Everything about him feels like it was made for me. I lay my head on his shoulder, curling into his body.
“I’ll miss these nights with you.”
“I’ll miss you.” His lips brush my forehead.
We’re about to head in two very different directions. A lot of couples don’t make it past high school, and we had our own major rough patch with him thinking I deserved more than him, but we’re past it. Now, I can see where he was coming from, how he thought he was protecting me, saving me in a way, but it was him I needed not anyone else. We don’t choose who we love, we just do.
Finn only saw our differences, while I saw our similarities.
But now, we stand on the edge of the world, two who’ve become one.
“Whatever happens,” I murmur against the skin of his neck, “we’ll always have the stars.”
He kisses me softly, cradling my cheek in his hand. “The stars have burned for a millennia, and we will too.”
Just then, a star shoots across the sky.
Finn’s words echo in my head from long ago.
“I don’t believe wishes come true, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth making.”
So, under that night sky, wrapped in the arms of the boy I love, I make a wish.
Epilogue
Ten Years Later
I lean against the balcony railing, a wistful smile touching my lips as I gaze at the night sky.
I didn’t used to think much about the night sky, not until I met a boy.
That’s how most stories start, I guess. With a boy.
This boy in particular had a major impact on my life, and I can’t help thinking about him every time I sit under the stars. He taught me so many things, how important it is to include people, how we’re not as different as we think, and how powerful love can truly be even when it’s young love.
I remember nights lying in the grass talking with him. Sometimes with only our pinkies touching. Other times enveloped completely in his warm embrace.
Every time I think of him my heart aches a little for those young people we were. We knew so little about the world, but we felt so much. I guess that sums up being a teenager pretty well.
Arms wrap around me, hands pressing against my swollen and heavily pregnant belly, before a chin rests on my shoulder.
“What are you thinking about?”
My husband’s deep voice rumbles in my ear and I lean my head against his shoulder, closing my eyes.
“A boy.”
He lets out a small chuckle. “A boy, huh? Should I be jealous?”
I turn in his arms, resting my arms around his shoulders. I can’t get very close to him, not with my belly in the way.
“No. I think you’d like this boy.” I smile up at him, my stomach somersaulting.
Despite all the years we’ve been together, Finn still makes my body react crazily.
“I hope he treated you well.” He brushes his nose against my cheek.
“The best,” I exhale, meeting blue eyes behind a pair of glasses. “I love you.” I brush my lips against his.
Despite the odds, with everything stacked against us, we’ve made it.
Maybe it’s crazy to marry your first love, but I think I knew from the start Finn was meant to be all my firsts and my lasts. He might not have believed it, but I did, deep down I always knew he was it for me.
“I love you, Nebula, more than you’ll ever know, and little Moon too.” He touches my belly. “I can’t wait to meet our son.”
I gasp, feeling a small bit of wetness creep down my leg. I’ve been having contractions all day, but I thought they were Braxton Hicks.
“I think you’re going to meet him tonight.”
“What?” His lips part in surprise, blue eyes widening.
“He’s coming,” I confirm, “we need to go.”
Finn goes into action, gathering my things and everything we packed for this moment.
There’s no moon in the sky tonight, but soon our Moon will be on Earth with us.
Finn might not have realized his dream of going to outer space, but it’s coming to him in our tiny little miracle. It also feels like a bit of Luna is being given back to me. After all, I always called her my Moon.
I don’t tell him that night, but some wishes, they do come true.
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